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Archive for the ‘aphorism’ Category

An nescis mi fili,

quantilla prudentia mundus regatur.

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True words pt.1

(to whom it may concern)

Jesus may love you, but I think you’re garbage wrapped in skin.

-Doug Kenney (R.I.P.)Doug.

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Oh noes, not my brain.When a human being is born something horrible goes wrong every single time. The central processing unit aka brain (2.0 or more likely 0.2) has a serious bug. I call it TAB. The Asshole Bug. Like AMDs infamous TLB-Bug this causes some serious damage. Seems to kick in every time a human being meets other beings. Something is seriously wrong in the interact.with.others-subroutine. Every time a person meets another person they try to cheat and hurt each other as hard as they can, because there is a serious and nasty overflow in the i.am.the.most.important.person.on.this.planet-register. Maybe this explains why you don’t like your neighbor and why you cheated your wife last weekend and why you told your boss, that your coworker is a convicted pedophile. Macroscopical speaking this may be the answer to the question, why there is poverty and wars.

And this little bug is just hardcoded into your brain. Crap. We can’t just change that. Can we?

So now there are two different kinds of people on this planet. What separates them is not the output but the frequency of TAB (in computer lingo this equals the ratio of bluescreens of death per day). Everyone has theThe BSOD. hardcoded Asshole Bug sitting in the brain. But there is one authority trying to prevent the occurrence of TAB. Let’s call it conscience or soul (or chip set). The conscience/chip set tries to prevent the TAB. And in some cases this is successful and in others it’s not.

Most people sadly seem to ignore the warnings of their soul. They just are who they are. Never trying to improve themselves, always stepping on that landmine called the asshole bug.

On the other hand some try to change themselves. Now they know they can’t alter anything about the hardcoded brain-bug (well you could shut it off but then…). Therefore they try to avoid TAB by improving their behavior, they reflect about life, themselves and others and work hard on becoming that asshole free better person. Let’s call this software coding.

In a nutshell we have those two kinds of people(*). The first row, ignoring the signs of time and sticking with the same old preinstalled Operating System. Let’s call it Windows Asshole™.You sir, are an asshole.

The second row feels the Asshole Bug closely at their neck. Hence they update their software all the time to handle this serious CPU-Bug so they can function as originally planned. Bug and asshole free. Now as already said they don’t succeed all the time since TAB still is in their hardware and will – from time to time – kick in (“I am a PC”). But all the same they do way better then the rest. And that makes them special. And precious. And individual. And progressive. And so damn cool! Because they can do better than all those ignorant, blind and stupid other computers. And they are open source too ;) .

And now you could start whining that all those Windows Asshole™ people will hurt those – let’s call them Linux – people. And you are so damn right. That’s one of the prices to pay. Linux really needs to implement a more effective firewall.

___

(*) actually there are three kinds of people. In addition there are Macs. But they are busy drinking Latte Macchiato.


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