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Archive for the ‘storyofmylifeism’ Category

So you may ask yourself: Dude, what has this guy been up to the last six months.

Well, dude. I guess you just wouldn’t ask yourself that kind of stuff (go figure); Anyway I am glad you asked. A lot has happened, alas again. I’ve been to the Philippines for 3 weeks in April and it has been a wild ride. For the first time in my life I had the chance to see what it’s like to live in squatters. And I had to think about this alot. How I think that life is unfair sometimes. Me, living his nice and comfy life in Germany. Hell, what kind of an asshole am I, to sometimes fall into self-pity. Really. Just shut up, Chris. Idiot.

We as a group of germans have been working primarily with kids and teens there, in TayTay, Floodway, Manila. And those 3 weeks gave me so much to think about. How I complain. Who I am. Who we are. We silly germans. Back here I had a hard time to adjust to this weird and crazy german life again. Funny. Only being away for such a short period of time. Life in a western country is so self centered. We strive for success. For money and all that shit. And still we have those sad faces. Driving our big cars. Sad faces. Sitting in our living rooms watching TV on our High Definition LCD’s. Sad faces. Buying stuff we don’t really need with all that money we have. Sad faces.  Surfing the internet. Sad faces. We are alone. Alone in this country of 82 million. Prisoners of our own life, our own success, our own ambitions. Because that is how we roll.

On the other side of the world people that have close to nothing; or really nothing. Period. Daily confronted with child abuse, drugs, prostitution, no healthcare, no jobs, no future, no nothing. And smiling faces. No money to buy enough food. And a smile. Not knowing what tomorrow brings. And a smile. Maybe a sad smile sometimes. But still a smile. And an open heart. You are never alone in Manila. Always surrounded by friends & family. Because those are the most important things. And in that moment you realize that all that money, the wealth… It’s not our salvation. It’s the last nail in our cross. Our addiction. Our guilt. Our doom. Our end.

I’m writing this in Germany and I’m back in capitalism city. Writing on my PC, sitting in my comfy chair, drinking a Beck’s. I’m back in capitalism-tinseltown, back in the “winning” team. And nothing much has changed here.

But I now really know what will make me happy. And what wont. And there are about 100 other things I could write here, because inside me so many things HAVE changed and WILL change. And I’m happy. Pretty damn happy. We, the good guys will win. Maybe I’ll still complain about trivial matters sometimes. But deep inside a calm voice says: Chris, this doesn’t matter. Everything is ok. Everything is good now.

Manila, I love you! You crazy, filthy, gruesome, stunning, wonderful city. I miss you people of the Philippines! But we will meet again next life. Because God has many people in this city. And that is how we roll.

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Thank you very much for asking. I heard you were a nice boy/girl the last 11 months. So this video is just for you. Enjoy. And think toast!

Stay tuned for more exclusive content from my oh so interesting fancy life. And there will be much more music. Rejoice, rejoice. Oh yes, so much more music.

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First take your MP3 Player. Load it with Bon Iver. If you are lucky like me, not living in a big city,  go for a walk in the woods. Listen to the music. Enjoy. No matter if you are happy or sad.

Untitled.

Look out for the signs. Because someone loves you.

Untitled 2.

When you are back home, feel the warmth. Make yourself a hot cup of tea. You better make that one irish. Preferably with some good, old irish malt. Listen to Bon Iver again.

That is your life. It could end or begin any minute now.

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It’s the darkest day in the year. Well if you live in the northern hemisphere. I do. From now on it’s only getting brighter.

Silversun Pickups – Lazy Eye

To appear sad
With the same ‘ol decent lazy eye
Fixed to rest on you
Aim free and so untrue

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Last post in November. I hate novembers. They suck. Axl Rose knows this. I know this. And you better know this too.

I got some bad headache right now, hence i don’t have to say anything clever at this time. Oh if i only ever did.

In retrospective this month was… weird. Ambivalent. There were moments i just wanted to die. And there were moments full of light and color, full of grand surprises, hope and pure, simple and true gayness. What a month. O me, o life. My life is just a bit to thrilling at this time. And i hope december will be just a tad more unexciting. But i already know. It won’t. Something really, really big is hiding itself behind the sofa. And it will be awesome. I know this. God knows this.

Well! What was the sound of november, chris? O if i only knew. You decide! See you in december.

Cold War Kids – Hang Me Up To Dry

now hang me up to dry
you wrung me out
too too too many times
now hang me up to dry
I’m pearly like the whites
the whites of your eyes

Cold War Kids – Hospital Beds

tell me the story
of how you ended up here
I’ve heard it all in the hospital
nothing’s sufficing
doctors on tour
somewhere in India

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True words pt.1

(to whom it may concern)

Jesus may love you, but I think you’re garbage wrapped in skin.

-Doug Kenney (R.I.P.)Doug.

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electronic music define this weekend. But it’s over Chris. Oh noes really, it has come to an end. Just close your eyes and walk away.

sebastiAn’s remix of camera by the editors.


This one is fun. The original Editors version just doesn’t render the most pleasent feelings. Go listen to the original if you want to ruin your day. Or just listen to sebastiAn’s and keep on dancing. Interesting how a remix can altogether change the mood of a pristine sad song.

Keep close to me now,
I’ll be your guide.
Once we have black hearts,
then love dies.

Look at us through the lens of a camera,
does it remove all of our pain?
If we run they’ll look in the back room,
where we hide all of our feelings.

I’ll just close my eyes as you walk out.

I’ll keep your eyes wide open tonight,
keep the car on the road now,
feel love bite.

Look at us through the lens of a camera,
does it remove all of our pain?
If we run they’ll look in the back room,
where we hide all of our feelings.

I’ll just close my eyes as you walk out.

You fall from grace, we fall with such grace.
You fall from grace, we fall with such grace.
You fall from grace, we fall with such grace.
You fall from grace, we fall with such grace.

Look at us through the lens of a camera,
does it remove all of our pain?
If we run they’ll look in the back room,
where we hide all of our secrets.

I just close my eyes as you walk.
I just close my eyes as you walk.
I just close my eyes as you walk.
I just close my eyes as you walk.
I just close my eyes as you walk.
I just close my eyes as you walk out.

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